Haven't I Waited Long Enough?
by ameritastic
Summary: Soldier has finally returned from the war after almost two years. Merasmus wants his affections and love, more than before Jane had left. How will Merasmus ask, when he doesn't know how to act? Sad themes, slight cheating.


Merasmus sighed, closing his book after bookmarking his page. He bit his lip in anxiety, anticipating Jane's return from work. Jane had been gone for almost two years now, out in whatever war had dragged his boyfriend this time. Of course, Jane couldn't help but apply for a term, because it was _his job. _

Merasmus lifted his arms above his head, bending his back and hearing a relieving pop. Even though they had exchanged several letters, to the black haired male, letters were nothing compared to his voice, and his touch. If the lonely male were to ever admit it, he would say that he missed Jane's touch more than anything, and also wished constantly for there to be more.

The emerald-eyed lover yawned, checking the time as he leaned into his red, plump chair. When he thought about it, he was reminded that all the while Jane was gone, he had been sitting in this chair. The chair was Jane's favorite chair, because it provided enough cushion that your butt didn't ache, but enough firm-ness that you didn't sink to your death. Over the long months during Jane's term, the constant weight Merasmus had applied to the chair had created a slight but noticeable dent in the middle, and the red coloring had faded into a slight grey. The tired male frowned, embarrassed that it was so obvious he had made his mark on the chair. It was pointless for him to try and fix it, because his lover would be home in a few hours.

Merasmus could hardly wait.

Merasmus was awakened later by a attempt at a quick entry. The presumed-asleep male didn't open his eyes right away, instead focusing on hiding an endearing smile at his boyfriends attempt to enter the house quietly. He heard the other's feet shuffle past the kitchen and enter the living area, where the struggling Merasmus lay 'sleeping'.

"Babe?" Jane said an octave just below a normal tone, dropping his camouflage bag onto the wooden floor.

"Merasmus?" He smiled, reaching his hand over to tangle his hand into the others hair, letting it sit there a second before leaning over to kiss his forehead.

"I'm home." He murmured against his skin and pulled back, grabbing his back and turning to walk down the hall to their shared bedroom. Merasmus opened his eyes slightly, staring down at his lap with a smile.

"Jane?" He called out, pulling himself out of the chair and towards the one-person hall.

"I'm in here." He called from their room, his voice alone summoning the still a bit tired boy into their room. He leaned in from the doorway, biting his lip, accidently making it bleed from almost falling.

Merasmus didn't see Jane immediately, but when he stepped in and saw his lover in the closet he almost screamed, in surprise or delight he wasn't sure. Maybe both. His breath caught in his throat, his face and ears turning a deep shade of red.

"J-Jane?" The flustered male squeaked, staring at the others strongly toned, evenly tanned body. "What are you doing?" He said as he breathed out, trying to calm his fluttering heart.

Said man turned around with a confused look, "I was changing." He let his hand drop to scratch the side of his thigh. His blue eyes twinkling in the light from the moon. It was then that Merasmus realized that it was nighttime, and because he had slept before, he would not be able to fall asleep again for a few hours. This either meant they would both stay up and Merasmus would have an opportunity to ask Jane to hold him close; or Jane would be too tired to stay up and Merasmus would end up watching him sleep.

"Merasmus!" The man residing in Merasmus' thoughts rolled him eyes, poking his forehead repeatedly, "Are you in there?"

The flustered boy jumped slightly before frowning, "Of course I am," His eyes drifted unconsciously down the other's body, wanting so desperately to feel the others warmth. Merasmus didn't even register that his lovers crotch, covered over by green fabric, had twitched slightly at his stare.

"Will you put some clothes on," He huffed out a bit harshly, turning and walking away from the room.

"Merasmus, wait!" Jane walked over to the other, slipping his arms around the others waist. Jane rested his chin on his lovers shoulder, smiling slightly, oblivious to how much delight this brought his boyfriend.

"I forgot to say I'm home." Merasmus almost snorted, because he _had not _forgotten, but he was 'asleep' when he said it.

"Put clothes on, Jane." The taller male rolled his eyes, yet not pulling away from the others touch.

"I missed you," The blue eyed soldier ignored the other, kissing his lovers neck before pulling away and returning to the closet, this time putting clothes back into it instead of taking clothes out.

Merasmus faltered, hesitating in his attempt to leave the room. His body felt unbelievably cold at the absence of Jane's touch. He had yearned for it for so long, and he _almost had it,_ then it was gone. He was almost brought away from the Hell that was Earth, and brought to his own planet. He was almost brought back from his yearning, his hoping, his _loneliness. _

"Jane," His mouth moved before his brain, in consequence his voice faltered, he breathed deeply, his eyes screwing shut as his stomach churned. Merasmus heard Jane turn around and shut the closet door, turning to walk towards him.

"I'm going to go make food, do you want anything?" He stated, walking past the taller male towards the kitchen.

_Wait, Jane. Can I hold you? Just for a minute?_

"No. I don't want anything." He bit his lip, running a hand through his hair and letting it rest on the back of his neck, his fingers tapping in a repetitive pattern for a few, agonizing moments. Merasmus, more than anything, wanted to call out to Jane in that moment, to ask him to just lay with him for a little bit. To kiss him, to love him.

Merasmus missed Jane so much, and now his lover is standing right before him, and he can't even say a few words to ask for what he's longed for, and he has longer for it for long enough. However, now that it's actually here, how is he supposed to obtain it?

All Merasmus wants is Jane, to be held by Jane. He needed to be reassured that he was staying, that he was still his.

Merasmus needed this, before he made more mistakes. Even though the only real mistake he made during Jane's absence was one he would never bring up, never speak of, and until now, had completely forgotten.

It wasn't exactly his fault that he had rested his head on another person's chest somewhere between the time of Jane's absence. His pay had been cut at work, he almost got into a crash, and worst of all, it was Merasmus' birthday that day. Of course, Jane couldn't come home, so he was alone – besides for the letter from his letter, but at that point, what was a letter? He just wanted _him._

It was his fault that he allowed himself to go to a bar and get drunk, drunk to the point that the next morning, as his head rest on his wet pillow, he barely remember what caused him to cry through the night.

He had been dragged back to his house – or had dragged someone else, he couldn't remember – back to his apartment. He wasn't looking for sex, and he wasn't looking to give it either. He just need to hold someone besides his own pillow.

Even though Merasmus had stated his intentions, the other person had other ideas. He held him against the bed, smiling at the green eyed drunkard. Merasmus didn't remember if between the time they had reached the bed and the time tears started to fall from his eyes, any words had been exchanged. What he did remember was the other male grimaced and sneered, probably insulting him as he pulled his grey sweatshirt over his head, his hand firmly grabbing the doorknob and walking promptly out of the room. The last Merasmus ever heard of the other person was the slamming of his apartment door.

Merasmus had not sipped a single drop of alcohol, had not stepped a single step into the bar nor their shared room, instead living his entire life of Jane's favorite chair. The red cushion gave him the strength, no matter how little, to wake up every morning and go to work, counting off the days until his lovers return.

Yet, now that the person in question was here, finally in his presence, he did not know how to ask for the affection he needed so desperately. The loneliness and ache that could only be satiated by Jane, and only Jane.

Merasmus dropped his hand from his neck, wiping his palms on the jeans, his breathing heavy, his face looking pale and drained. Merasmus rubbed his hands together and bit his lip, taking a step out of his room and towards where his lover resided.

"Jane?" He called out, still standing in the hallway, just out of the others' sight.

"Yes, babe? He called out, doing something in the kitchen before stepping out and into the line of sight of each other. He held a small paper towel in his hand, a buttered piece of toast resting unbothered on top of it.

"Can we lay in bed?" Merasmus looked everywhere but the others beautiful face. He forced himself to look away from the others still naked chest and legs, his close fitting boxers accenting the area Jane kept only for him.

"I'm not really tired, and I was about to eat." He frowned, oblivious to Merasmus' desires, "But if you want to go to bed you don't have to ask."

"Jane." Merasmus' voice wavered, dying out slightly at the end of the others name, his eyes choosing to glare at a speck on the floor, a small piece of dirt.

"I miss you." Jane's eyebrows furrowed, his hand lifting to set to bread on the counter.

"Please come to bed with me. Just for a little bit." He murmured, almost to quietly.

"Merasmus?" Jane thought about it for a second before he realized what the other wanted, "Oh, Merasmus." He bounded the short distance to the other, a loud smile on his face.

The taller male flushed in embarrassment, only having a few seconds to think about if he should regret this or not. The minute Merasmus felt the other pull him down as gently as he was capable, and pull their lips together, the man lost all possible regrets.

They pulled away, pulling each other to the bed, earnest need for the others touch preventing them from being anything but one being. Merasmus gulped down a deep lump in his throat, his palms sweating and his eyesight blurry.

"Jane," Merasmus whispered to the other, his mouth close to his lovers' ear, his body shuddering with delight. He finally had him back, he could finally hold him in his arms. The love of his life was finally home.

"Merasmus," As soon as his name left the shorter man's lips, he knew his feelings were reciprocated, that no matter how long they had been separated, their love was unperishable. Over their long years together, they had slowly and until now, unknowingly coalesced.

Their bed was irrelevant in there reunion, providing no comfort compared to the consolation provided by each other. Jane's arms were strong around Merasmus, making him feel timelessly immune to all the sorrow he felt before. Merasmus ignored the pull at his heart and the lump in his throat, busying himself with his lovers' lips, and ears and neck. He squeezed and caressed the others hips lovingly, his whole being completely purged of anything except the love he felt for the other.

"Merasmas," Jane murmured into the others cheek, a hand slipped under the others chin, pulling his face up from his shoulder, "Why are you crying." His thumb ran across his left cheek, spreading the wetness instead of erasing it.

"I missed you," The green-eyed male said weakly, unable to stop the tears any longer. His face became wet quickly, the air in his lungs coming out in huffs and coming in broken heaves. Merasmus crumbled before his boyfriend, his face dropping to the others chest.

"I missed you so much, sometimes I didn't know what to do anymore. Some days all I wanted was you," Merasmus cried out into the others chest, "But I couldn't have you."

Jane chewed his lip, wrapping his arms around the other protectively, lovingly. He leaned back against the pillows, wrapping his legs around the others slender calves, making sure they were encased in each other. Jane leaned his head down to kiss the top of his head, humming a few tunes he had learned in the war.

"I missed you too," He held him suffocating tight to his body, but Merasmus failed to notice, only noticing that he was finally _being held by Jane._

With time, Merasmus weeps slowing evolved into deep, peaceful breaths that Jane soon realized were caused by sleep.

Jane smiled with contented happiness, relaxing his hold slightly before falling asleep himself.


End file.
